Poop on the street

So I thought I already published this photo, but apparently not. Here it is, just outside the Royal Palace in Gamla Stan..

Horse poop on the street.. I wonder who cleans it up?

Sexing Chickens

So I'm watching "Dirty Jobs" on Discovery Channel where the dude is at a chicken hatchery. He just keeps saying the funniest things.

"I'm sexing chickens."
"We're just a couple of guys squeezing the crap out of chicks."
"This is a can full of poo. and the reason it's full of poo is because you're squeezing it [out of the chickens]."
"A dull flat look for the girls and a shiny hiney for the boys."
"Can't you see if there's a bump before you squeeze the poo out?"
"Chicken sexer.. it's a dirty job."

Mmm.. grilled chicken

L. & I cooked this while camping on Öland this summer.. it was yummy.

"Do the chickens have large talons?" revisited

In response to the question on all our minds...

Yes, yes they do. For the low down on chicken feet, see:

http://www.urbanext.uiuc.edu/eggs/res13-feet.html

Poop and Chickens on Google

So, because I apparently had nothing better to do, I decided to do a google search using the terms "poop" and "chickens". Here are the 1st 10 URLs that came up..

1. http://www.ilovechickenpoop.com
2. http://www.ilovechickenpoop.com/boutique.html
3. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=chicken+poop
4. http://www.ksn.com/news/stories/10241981.html
5. http://www.songsfortheillinoisriver.com/thefoulpluckers.htm
6. http://www.songsfortheillinoisriver.com/chicken_poop_in_the_news.htm
7. http://pubs.acs.org/subscribe/journals/esthag-w/2006/mar/science/kc_chickenpoop.html
8. http://www.kooterbrownsmusictavern.com/EarthDayMusicianPics.htm
9. http://www.drugstore.com/qxp155686_333181_sespider/chicken_poop/free_range_chicken_poop_lip_balm.htm
10. http://www.fool.com/investing/general/2006/01/23/chicken-coops-and-chicken-poop.aspx

Do the chickens have large talons?

For those of you who were inspired by the makeshift hatcheries we all seemed to have in our grade three classrooms (i.e. a cardboard box cooking under a very bright lightbulb and filled to the brim with little yellow chicks, some newspaper, and way more chicken poop than the ventilation system was able to compensate for), here is some how-to info on starting your own chicken farm!

http://www.chickenvideo.com/?gclid=CLOQv9-85owCFQzDYgodYHX-6w

Reindeer that poop candy

a swedish cookie

is called en kaka
kaka
ha ha haha

Chicken Poop Lip Care is here!!

A poopy conversation

A conversation I had this morning with my boyfriend:

Him: I need to unlooooaaaad!

Me: Then do it!

Him: But if you save it there will be more!


then a little later:

Him: It was a good unload, by the way.

Guess What These Are...

Leave your guesses in the comment section..

Tax on Farting

My favourite April Fool's joke story is from:

Sundsvalls Tidning: Utsläppsskatt för människor med gasbesvär ska införas.

Which means, "Emissions Tax for people with gas problems to be introduced."

and my second favourite is from:

Sydsvenskan: För att komma åt problemet med hundbajs på gatorna ska Region Skåne placera ut särskilda pantautomater där hundägarna kan lämna jyckarnas exkrementer.
Och panten då? Jodå, två kronor hektot får husse och matte.

Which means, "To get a hold of the problem with dog poop on the streets, the Skåne Region will place out special pay-machines where dog owners kan leave dog excrement. And does it pay? Yes of course, the master and mistress get 2 crowns per hundred grams."

bajsnödig

Means "the need to poop" in Swedish.

My new favourite Swedish word.

Jag är bajsnödig. = I have to poop.

hee hee hee.

The Arts Bathrooms

Have you ever noticed the tile in the bathrooms of the Old Arts Building at the U of A? It is the most fantastic tile ever! It's like this really nice indigo blue with greens & the mix of the 2 colours looks like watercolour paint does when you put 2 blobs close enough on the paper that they sort to start of mix on their own, just a little. Every time I go into the bathroom in that building, I think about how much I like the tile.

And on the topic of going into the bathroom in that building, I was there the other day enjoying the process of doing my business, when a really funny thing just popped into my head. OK, maybe I was thinking about the poop blog at the time and pooing, so maybe it wasn't totally random. Anyway, as I was pooing, I thought to myself, "This would be an appropriate time to say to my poop, 'Get thee behind me Satan!'"

It's just funny on so many levels.

The Many Faces of Poo..h

Concrete Balls

A headline from the Edmonton Journal,
"Giant concrete balls to plug 'mud volcano'
Flow forces 11,000 Indonesians from homes, buries villages and factories"

Chicken jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Where'd that shit go??

O.K. I'm not usually a fan of straight-up no-holds-barred whiny-ass complaining, but I'm going to indulge today. I hate it - hate with a capital t - when my best poop of the day manages somehow to disappear down the toilet such that when I stand up all proud of myself (and generally feeling a whole lot better than when I sat down) it doesn't look like I've accomplished anything at all. I.e. the poop has disappeared.

Goddamn it, I hate that. Tangible results may not be the best thing to wish for here, but visible ones would sure be appreciated.

I suppose it is better than having your poop displayed in all it's glory (or lack thereof) on a little platform though.

So, here's to the Flugzeugklo - thus named both for it's appearance and for it's spectacular launching capabilities - how I don't miss it (much...)!

In the spirit of the previous post...gas can be dangerous. But hey - better out than in. Even if the consequences include a mud volcano!

Anti-fart Underwear!!!!

Anti-fart panties... finally! I already ordered my pair.

Best Dump in the World

This headline speaks for itself.

Ode to Chicken

Oh Chicken, how I do love thee
this hunger doth so consume me

Thine breasts are tender and fine,
I am wont to make them mine.

Thy wings, they bring forth hope
to the bellies of many a dope.

And your thighs, when plucked all bare
cause me to whisper a prayer:

Thank you, God, for this food.
Amen

I've been a bad kitty...

So I'm typing away on an email, and the "Ask Yahoo" header playfully inquires: How do you get Play-doh out of carpet?

And I say: The same way you get gum off a cat. Hot soapy water and scissors.

In lieu of a poem...

idog

This idog is cool and all, but the real question is, "Does it poop?"

My Chicken Friend and Me

my sisters cooking chicken
but its not done quite yet
if i had a chicken
id treat it like a pet

id take it to the park some days
and comb its hair just right
id shower it with lots of praise
and tuck it in at night

our love would last forever
my chicken friend and me
our love would last forever
for all eternity